When it comes to sex and relationships there is no such thing as a stupid question. Here are our answers to some of the things you asked us via the GMFA website. 

Is my boyfriend’s arse too tight?

When I top, I do not feel much while I am inside my boyfriend. We do not use condoms but I still do not feel any stimulation on my cock. Why is this? My cock seems to go numb only when I insert it inside him and I end up losing my erection. I think it’s because he is too tight which is making my cock go numb because the blood is being pushed out of it. Is that possible? I need answers! 

Losing your erection as a top is common, even when you don’t use a condom. If your partner’s arse is very tight, it could play a part in this. You could try opening your partner up with your fingers or with toys or spending some time rimming him before fucking him. You should also use plenty of lube to make your cock slide inside him more easily. Water-based lube is good but silicone based lube dries out slower, so perhaps it’s an idea to try it out. You could also try wearing a cock-ring, which tends to stop the blood from leaving the cock and keeps you hard for longer. If these methods don’t work you could try Viagra or any herbal versions thereof.

For more information, visit www.gmfa.org.uk/erection-problems

Fucked for the first time. Do I have anything?

I’ve just had anal sex for the first time with a guy I admittedly didn’t know that well but passion got the better of me. He was wearing a condom and says he doesn’t have any STIs, but I have no way of proving that. I’m now terrified that I might have caught something from him and was hoping to find out from you guys if I am worrying unduly. He didn’t cum in or on me, but we did kiss and I did give him oral sex.

Firstly, no one has ever caught HIV from kissing and it is difficult to catch it from oral sex, especially if your partner doesn’t’ cum in your mouth. You can never be 100% certain that any of your partners are STI-free. Most of the time, even they can’t be certain of this themselves. The best thing you can do is use a condom with every new partner, and also have a regular sexual health screening. If you ever do pick up an STI like gonorrhoea or chlamydia, which you can do from oral sex, you can get it treated with a short course of antibiotics available in every GUM clinic. It’s recommended that you have a full sexual health screening every six months and more often if you change partners frequently.

For more information, visit www.gmfa.org.uk/clinics

We barebacked – could we have HIV?

I was fucked by someone who wasn’t wearing a condom. Both of us have been tested since and it came back that we don’t have any STIs. Is it still possible to get STIs/HIV? 

 If both you and your partner have recently had a sexual health screening and your tests have come back negative then there is no infection for you to pass to one another. However, there is a window period of at least four weeks for HIV and ten days for other STIs during which tests are unreactive to antibodies or infections. If you have had sex with someone during that period, there is a chance that you may have picked something up if they had an STI. If you are having sex with a casual partner, it is best to always use a condom in order to avoid catching STIs including HIV.

 To find out more about the risk associated with different sexual acts, have a look at GMFA’s How Risky Is…? section on their website:

Bored of wanking

I am 19 years old (almost 20 now!) and I am not sexually active. After almost six years of wanking I am starting to get bored of it now. Are there any other ways I can play without involving a sexual partner? I hope you can help me. 

 There are different ways that you can pleasure yourself if you don’t want to have sex with a partner. If you don’t do it already, you could try wanking with different types of lubes. You can choose from a variety of silicone or water-based lubes which are available both online and in sex shops. Some tingling or minty lubes can be exceptionally fun to play with. 

Fleshjacks, which are silicone moulds of a man’s arse or mouth are also fun to use. They are as close to the real thing as you are going to get so just throw in a little lube and pound away. You can buy them online and get them discreetly delivered to your door. 

Another way of making wanking more fun for yourself is by experimenting with edging, which is teasing yourself by wanking to the point of cumming and abruptly stopping before you do so. You can repeat this a few times and you will find your orgasm intensifies once you let yourself shoot. You can also try playing with your arse whilst wanking. All men have a G-spot a few inches inside their arsehole. You can stimulate it with your finger or with a dildo or vibrator. 

If you would like further tips on different ways of wanking, visit www.gmfa.org.uk/wanking-techniques

Please note, the advice GMFA provides is intended to support, not replace the relationship that exists between you and your doctor. GMFA recommends you visit your GP or GUM clinic if you have a sexual health need.